7 Characteristics of an Ideal Husband

 Transcribed by AI

Dear friends, greetings and welcome to the Window of Light programme, which is here to brighten your homes. We thank God that we can serve you through this medium, and we appreciate you watching this programme. I believe that if you stay with us until the end, you will be blessed, especially your beloved family. Thank you for allowing us into your homes wherever you are watching this programme, and thank you to those who write to us and leave messages. We strive to respond to your messages. Yes, dear friends, I greet you warmly and am very happy to be with you today. Today, I especially invite my dear Afghan sisters to listen to this programme because it will be very beneficial for them. Amen.

Well, dear friends, in our previous programme, we talked about the qualities of a good woman, an excellent woman, a wise woman. We discussed seven of her characteristics drawn from the Book of Proverbs, written thousands of years ago. We explained that an ideal woman should possess these qualities. It’s remarkable to think that the Prophet Solomon lived thousands of years ago, yet his writings are still very useful for us today. While the ways of life, such as technology, have changed, the morals, contents, and character of people must remain good and excellent. That’s why Solomon’s Proverbs can still be beneficial to us today. In Proverbs 31, it is written about women, and it asks where a virtuous woman can be found, stating that her value is greater than jewels.

She does many amazing things; for instance, she does not indulge in laziness and is trustworthy to her husband. Throughout their lives, she treats her husband well, and he is respected in society. Even before dawn, she rises and prepares food for all the members of her family, meaning she does not sleep in until ten o'clock. Moreover, she sews clothes for her family from wool and linen, and she does many courageous tasks, such as buying a piece of land and making a profit from it by selling to merchants. These are tasks that I don’t have the courage to do, like going into business alone, but this virtuous woman accomplishes great things because she is brave. Most importantly, it is said that beauty is fleeting and deceptive, but a virtuous woman fears God. Amen. I truly appreciate this part because if we do not have God, we cannot possess all these qualities we discussed because He is the one who gives us strength, encourages us, and inspires us through His word. Solomon’s Proverbs are part of the Holy Scriptures that we read, and you mentioned earlier about working with wool and linen.

I remember when we were tasting, Nazira made us a very nice warm jacket with a colourful pattern, and I used to wear it. So here we see, dear friends, that we talked about the seven characteristics of a woman. But in today’s programme, we want to discuss the seven characteristics of a suitable husband. Personally, I believe that these characteristics are truly excellent. I want to have them, and I strive for them. Nazira and I always talk about these topics. I didn’t understand this matter before, but today, as we create this programme, we want our Afghan brothers to understand how impactful these topics are.

Because most of the work done in Afghanistan is typically related to men, especially at this time when women have limited roles. All the power is in the hands of men. But it would be good if our Afghan brothers had excellent and good characteristics; they could have a happy life. Yes, yes. Before we teach others and tell them to possess these qualities, we must cultivate them within ourselves. We cannot simply become better on our own. The word of God, the Holy Scriptures, is our best guide. The topic we have chosen today is from the Book of 1 Timothy, chapter 3. Although it speaks about a church leader, a family is also a church. A husband is the head of the family and can be a good leader for his children and family. We will discuss this further. Now, Nazira, in your opinion, when we go to the word of God, what qualities do you like to see in your husband? I mean, I can mention things that you would like to see, so I can learn from them.

Yes, there are many things you can mention about him, and I hope that all of our dear compatriots can learn from them. Many people don’t speak about their problems in life. One important quality is that they should have emotional maturity, meaning they shouldn’t get angry quickly. When they do get angry, we are all human; we get angry. I, too, often get angry. Well, we are all human, and I’m not saying we never get angry, but we should try to manage our anger so that it doesn’t harm those around us. We should control our anger before we direct it at our wives, children, or families. I have seen many Afghans in Afghanistan who let their anger take control. A brother may hit his wife, or a father may hit his child, or a husband may hit his wife to the point where he loses control.

Well, it’s true that he may not think about the immediate consequences. I mean, he may not physically harm her, but how much emotional damage does it cause? This can destroy their self-esteem and confidence, and while their physical bodies may be unharmed, their spirits may be broken. It’s very difficult to repair that spirit. A key point here is that our dear compatriots should consider that women and children are very delicate and sensitive and should not be mistreated. Yes, yes. A husband should communicate his thoughts, plans, and values with his wife. This shows respect. Even if she doesn’t give her opinion, it’s still a sign of respect and love to share your plans with her, saying, “I have these plans, I want to go here, or I want to do this.” For example, if I learn something new, I should share it with her.

Another point is that when I critique my wife, especially when we are eating, I may say if the bread is not enough, "There isn’t enough bread." If it is sufficient, I might say, "The bread lacks salt." If it is enough, then I should express my appreciation for it. This is one characteristic I need to develop within myself. In this way, dear friends, a husband must be trustworthy to his wife. Yes, yes. And he should not be overly negative; he should be positive and place his wife and children in high regard.

Well, dear friends, let’s take a break now, and we will return shortly to continue. In this earthly life, we are always in a battle. We may witness battles among others, or we may be involved ourselves. Whatever it is, it is the work of the enemy. The enemy works day and night to keep us engaged in pointless conflicts and struggles, diverting us from the good life that God has planned for us. But dear ones, do not allow him to win against you. God says in His word to strengthen your weak and trembling hands and to walk in the right path, striving to live in peace and harmony with everyone. However, if you fight each other with teeth and claws, you will surely destroy one another. This is an example of how if we don’t spend time together, communicate, and maintain our relationships, nothing will work out. The wife may become discouraged from doing things, or the husband may become disheartened. Our aim is to control our actions, meaning that if a husband were to speak gently, perhaps every issue between them could be resolved more quickly and effectively.

There are many topics related to families, but let’s try to understand our wives and give them a chance to express themselves, ensuring that they can manage their anger. It is natural to feel emotional. In the first part, we discussed what qualities Nazira thinks a woman should look for in her husband. Now let’s look at what the Bible says about the characteristics of a husband. Why? Because the Bible is our guide. Let’s see what the Bible says about the qualities of a husband. As we said, even though it talks about church leaders, it applies to families as well, as a family is a small church, a piece of heaven. If we can live our lives with goodness, happiness, and peace, we should read from 1 Timothy 3, starting from verse 1, which states that it is a true saying that if a man desires the office of a bishop, he desires a good work. This is a good thing if you desire to marry, whether you are a girl or a boy, as God has ordained that a man and woman should be together, and it is good to desire to form a family, to have children. God said that it is not good for man to be alone.

Therefore, I am confident that every young person, whether male or female, wishes to get married someday and form a family, laying a positive foundation for their lives based on God’s word. Yes, indeed. Then in verse 2, it says that a bishop must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, and apt to teach. The word of God tells us that a husband must be a man of one wife. Solomon had thousands of wives, and many prophets made mistakes following their own desires. We should not excuse ourselves by saying, "Well, so-and-so did it." The Bible teaches us that having more than one wife leads to conflicts, both in families and in society. The verse goes on to say that a bishop must be blameless, vigilant, sober, hospitable, and able to teach.

I must point out that being “blameless” here refers to spiritual integrity, not physical perfection. Many people in Afghanistan face physical disabilities or illnesses, but this verse speaks to a man's character. For example, if he engages in gambling, fighting, or other sinful behaviours, that is a fault, regardless of physical condition. A man can live a healthy life if his thoughts and intentions are good.

Yes, yes, we are discussing character rather than physical attributes. The word of God says that God looks at the heart rather than the appearance. Whatever we may be outwardly, we thank God for it, but our inner person is what matters. When it says that a man must be blameless and have one wife, it also states that he must be vigilant, sober, hospitable, and able to teach. A husband should be able to educate his children well, teaching them from the word of God. This is part of our pursuit as followers of Christ, as we strive to align our lives with His teachings.

Then it continues, saying that a husband should be blameless, which means that people should not criticise him. In society, it is also important that men should be peaceful and not cause conflict. Those who promote peace bring harmony, especially in a society where many people are in conflict.

Then in verse 3, it states that the church leader should not be self-willed, quick-tempered, or greedy for money. I remember when my mother wanted to cook something at home, my father would sometimes plead with her for money to buy something. Many people hoard their money and do not want to share it. Having money is not bad; it is not a sin. But if a person loves money to the extent that they forget their wife and children, and become greedy, God does not like that.

Yes, yes. The love of money is a root of all evil. It is sinful. Having wealth is not a problem; we thank God for wealth. But the love of money leads to evil. In verse 4, it says that he must manage his own household well, bringing his children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. If a man cannot manage his family, he cannot be a church leader. This is because the family is like a small church. We must be able to demonstrate the good things we want to teach in the church in our homes first.

Yes. Thank God for our homes and families, where we can practise good things before we go out to talk to others. Verse 5 states that if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God? Furthermore, he must be well thought of by those outside, so that he does not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. The snare of the devil means not to stray into sin. When we marry, we must turn away from inappropriate friendships and associations.

This is how a good husband should be respected among people. We want to practise this. I thank God for this teaching. I think about how God's principles are equal for both men and women. God has given responsibilities to both men and women, and if both fulfil their responsibilities, their lives will be better.

Men and women are equal in honour, love, and rights. God created them equally. Dear friends, we have reached the end of our programme. Until next time, we will be with you. May you be filled with the love of God. Goodbye and God bless you. Amen. Goodbye, dear friends. Goodbye, dear friends. Goodbye, dear friends. Goodbye, dear friends. Goodbye, dear friends. Goodbye, dear friends. Goodbye, dear friends. Goodbye, dear friends. Goodbye, dear friends.